Wednesday, November 08, 2017

Preparing Your Child for Medical Interventions: How to Pack for the Hospital



Our first overnight hospital stay with our newly adopted little one was unscheduled. We were already medical parents. We’d done outpatient procedures, therapies and medical appointments, but this was something entirely different.

There was no thoughtful packing, no considering our daughter’s favorite comfort items or even a toothbrush and clean undies for her mom and dad. Less than two weeks after arriving home from our second adoption trip to China, an appointment with a specialist led to a rushed, immediate admission for infection and sepsis. 



So, with minds racing, blood pumping and tears building, we walked into the children’s hospital admitting office with no packed bags, no trail mix and no beloved pillow. We barely noticed though, as all we could do was beg the Lord for our girl’s life and try to force our spinning minds to understand what was happening.

That overnight stay turned into eight days of trading off night duty and trips back home for shampoo, PJs, tea bags and blankets. We figured out what we needed as we went, and even managed a hospital birthday celebration. It was a crash course in Hospital Life 101. And by the time we rolled our girl out of the hospital in a red wagon, we were loaded down with bags, backpacks, balloons, multiplied faith, new tools in our medical parent toolkit and immense gratitude.




Now, reflecting back on three years and many more hospital overnights, both locally and hundreds of miles away from home, we are grateful for all the medical parent mentors, who helped us perfect our packing. For those who come after us that face hospital stays, we’d love to help ease your packing worries.

My biggest advice? Be lavish. This is not the time to enter into a minimalist packing contest.

Zip some comfort into your suitcases and don’t look back.

Yes, you’ll need socks and toothpaste, but think chocolate, favorite beverages, fuzzy socks, and chamomile tea for you and teddy bears, lovies and stickers for your child.

For your child.
Bring beloved comfort items like blankets, pillows and stuffed animals. They’ll need PJ sets, slip on shoes (Crocs or slippers), and fun socks. Also, depending on the length of stay, bring entertainment such a sticker books, Color Wonder marker sets, nail polish, Legos, Play-doh, bubbles and a toy doctors kit.

Most children’s hospitals have playrooms, child life specialists and volunteers hoping to bring comfort and smiles to your child. We check out books from the hospital library and borrow toys from the playroom. Between hospital and Ronald McDonald House donations, we usually come home with a new collection of toys. Still, I always pack both new and favorite small toys to entertain and pass the time. 



For you.

Bring comfort items like your favorite pillow, blanket, some chocolate, chapstick, lotion, comfy layered clothes, and slip on shoes. Also, bring an IPad, a book and some magazines. Depending on your hospital, you might also want to consider your own towel, a sleep mat (we skip this), and shower flip flops.

Bring snacks such as trail mix, chocolate, fruit, fun beverages and water bottles. Balance fun comfort foods with healthy snacks to keep yourself feeling well. Also bring quarters and dollar bills for vending machines. Your stay will likely be a mix of flurries of attention/testing with a team of medical staff, then hours of downtime, both in the small space of a hospital room. You’ll do lots of snuggling, movie watching, and walking the halls.




Carefully consider how you pack for your child’s hospital stay. They’ll be emotions, caretaking and loads of information to take in. Be good to yourself and your child. You can download our complete packing list here. If you have suggestions to share, please do. Let’s keep learning from each other.

Courage and solidarity, medical parents.

Originally shared over on No Hands But Ours.

Thursday, February 09, 2017

Teachers: Making America Great

You know who works to make America great?

Teachers.
From preschool to college.
Public to private.
Special education to English as a Second Language.
School media specialists to PE coaches.
Teachers. 


The future builders.

 
The ones who read books aloud in funny character voices.
The ones who come in early to tutor a student.
The ones who stay late to coach Science Olympiad or the debate team.
The ones who attend conferences with their own funds.
The ones who write notes back in student journals.
The ones who pay attention to the individual needs of kids, despite burgeoning class sizes.
The ones who purchase extra snacks so that no child is hungry.
The ones who look beyond a student’s angry, hardened shell and see a hurting child.
The ones who spend their lunches with kids needing extra care. 
The ones who believe in their students, even the ones who don’t believe in themselves.
The ones who translate words into Spanish to communicate with parents.
The ones who make math into a game.
The ones who sip Saturday AM coffee while grading essays.
The ones who pursue advanced degrees.
The ones who know when to push and when to pull back.
The ones who dress up like Sacajawea  or Martin Luther King, Jr.
The ones who greet students with a smile every morning as they stream in.
The ones who can still see August’s sharpened pencils and empty desks and feel hopeful.

Revolving administrations, DOE pendulum swings, ever changing curriculums, low salaries, angry blue party voters, angry red party voters, testing, budgets, avalanches of paperwork, inaugurations of presidents.   
They hear the opinions.
 “Schools are getting worse.”

“Education is a mess.”

No matter.  Teachers are over-comers.  Though the world spins madly around them, to them it’s about learning and loving on kids.   
I am so grateful.

Friday, February 03, 2017

Biologically Yours

My sweet one, you and I might not share DNA, but I am forever and always, biologically yours.
Biology: the science of life or living matter in all its forms and phenomena, 
especially with reference to origin, growth, reproduction, structure, and behavior.

Dictionary.com
///

If you researched our story, you’d begin with the origin of our love, the moment when my head and heart began its connection to yours. God placed the seed of adoption in the hearts of your daddy and I, and the story of our life together was born. The dates and times, first conversations, and plans made are the very first data that you could record. Long before we laid eyes on your dark hair and almond eyes, we loved you, and that love grew rapidly, like a multiplying molecule.





Our connection cannot officially be quantified by science, and there is no scale that can weigh love, but oh my, is there evidence of both. God created your biological body and mine too. He designed our personalities and gifted us with souls. He is the author of love, and the chemist that put our family into motion.

If you study this mother’s love for you, you’ll see growth, and behavior that demonstrates our biological connection in many forms.
///
Science: systematic knowledge of the physical or material world gained through observation and experimentation.

Dictionary.com
///

Look at my life and my days, sweet one. Observe my actions closely and you’ll see our biological connection. We could fill a thousand lab journals with physical and behavioral proof:

Daddy and I pursued you, though you were a world away, with blood, sweat and tears.
 
When I first held you, every last one of my senses burned awake. Tears pooled, my heart beat faster, my mind raced, my skin tingled and my stomach twisted. We were mother and child, and my body felt it.
 
In those first days together, I slept beside you and watched you sleep. I breathed you in and watched you until I couldn’t hold my eyes open. And so we slept, resting our bodies under the same blanket.
 
When relationship building was hard, we pressed on, experimenting until we figured it out.
 
Over time, our relationship gained chemistry. I “got” you and you “got” me. I could look into your eyes and guess your thoughts, presume your feelings. You knew about my chocolate habit and I knew spiders make you shriek.
///

Now, this body of mine knows you with all its muscles, all its functions and all its senses.

I tune my ears to your voice and listen again and again when you tap me on the shoulder and ask if you can tell me just one more thing.
 
I turn my eyes to you in our backyard grass, and watch one more time when you plead, “Watch me, Mommy!”
 
 
Read the rest over at No Hands But Ours
 



 

Friday, January 20, 2017

A Cancer-versary Thank You Note

I will cause the shower to come down in its season; there shall be showers of blessing.
Ezekiel 34:36



On January 5, 2016,  I walked into an imaging center, already guessing that my lump wasn’t just a lump.  Hours later, I was told to “brace myself for cancer”.   Days later, the word malignant was highlighted on my pathology report.  The year plus of days that have followed after have been full.  Full of hard things, ordinary things, realizations, challenges, parenting thrown off, yet blessed small people, and approximately 3,016 appointments. 

The anniversary of both of those first two hard days, passed a couple weeks ago.  Around that time, words started pooling in my head.  I process through the keyboard, and I’ve typed whole essays in my thoughts around 3AM each night.  I’ve got lots to say, that I hope will help someone.  Quite frankly, I hope they’ll help me. 

What I need to spill first is gratitude, because it’s deep and wide and feels urgent now.  Somewhere along the line, I lost the journal that held numbered record of the kindnesses. For that reason and more, most of my thank you cards were never written.  I know you’ve all said NOT to, but this Southern, word loving girl wants to.

//

So thank you.

Thank you to the friends who read those first texts and took it all in alongside me.

Thank you to the “Bless Rebecca” FB group organizers.

Thank you to the suppliers of super fun brave pants and brave socks.

Thank you to the meal deliverers. 

 
Thank you to our beloved missionary pals who sent love from China, Ethiopia, Guatemala and Africa.
 
 
 

Thanks to low country boilers who satisfied my craving. 


 
Thank you to  the teachers who gave extra love and grace.
Thank you to the long-time cancer-fighting aunt who sent cards, texts, messages and love x100.
Thank you to the generous folks who helped pay medical bills.
Thank you the many who provided me with a giant stack of napkin encouragement.
Thank you  to the care package senders. 
 
 


Thank you to the many brave ladies who got mammograms and let me know.
 
Thank you to the flower senders.

Thank you to the bracelet wearers.
 
 
 

 

Thank you to “anonymous” who gifted without leaving a name, just to bless.

Thank you to the pray-ers of prayers and those who added me to their prayer lists and walks.


Thank you to organizers, and funders, of house cleaning.  Glory!

Thank you to the friends who knew when to let me feel my feels. 
Thanks you to my post hard appt lunch pals.

 
Thank you to our dear friends who were extra grateful with their lake house.
 

Thank you to the hilarious ones who text giggles. (Bonus points for Richard Simmons!)

Thanks you to the babysitters.

Thank you for sending kid smiles.
 
 

 
 
 
 

 

Thank you to friends who let me be flaky.

Thank you to the patient readers of posts with photos of brave pants and socks.

Thank you to text-ers who kept texting, and trusting that their texts mattered, even when I didn’t respond. 
Thank you to the t-shirt wearers.




 

 


 







 
 


 
Thank you to the incredibly sweet and brave planners of fun kid outings.

 

Thank you to the men who stood shoulder to shoulder with Mark.

Thank you to the cheerleaders, so generous with time, words and laughs.   
Thank you to the friends who knew when crazy comedies and popcorn were just right. 

Thank you to the card senders.

Thank you to those who climbed mountains and prayed for me at the top.

 
 
 

Thank you to the sisters who held my hand, and my kids’ hands, when my hair fell to the ground.
 

Thanks to those who showed up at the hospital to help pass the time and ended up scratching my feet. 

Thanks to those who joined me for all kinds of appointments, from biopsies and infusions, to MRIs, wound care, and echocardiograms.  Thanks for taking notes, sitting in waiting rooms and holding my purse while I changed into paper gowns.  Your presence was a great gift.   
 
 
 


 
Thanks to those who have been the hands and feet of Jesus for our family for three years of medical fun. 

//

I’m writing this post, and I’m picturing you, our people.  Our family.  Our life group.  Our North Metro Church family.  Our supper club.  Our neighbors.  Our adoption tribe, both local and online.  Our former classmates.  Our people. 

It’s taken time to write this, because I’m overwhelmed by how to cover it all, how to fully express my gratitude.  Overwhelmed by your love.  I've been terrified to forget something.  This journey is not over. 
The Lord was lavish with me through you, and I’m humbled, girded up and deeply grateful.  Our only hope is that we can pay it forward and return it back your way.  Our deepest gratitude. 

The chemo is still flowing, and couple surgeries loom, but we are good, very good and blessed.

 Our deepest gratitude,
Mark, Rebecca, Sophia, Claire, Eli and Evie


 
 
**Extra grace please, as I know I've likely left off photos.  Every last kindness was appreciated!  

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