"Listen and attend with the ear of your heart." Saint Benedict
Old barns summon up childhood memories. My
grandmother and her sons, my uncles, lived the farm life for years, growing
tobacco, raising crops and tending to animals.
After their white farmhouse
burned, they put a trailer on the land, and kept right on rising each morning
to work with their hands. Their land and
their barns had a history of both labor and joy.
I'm grateful for memories of summer weeks spent there. Of rising early with my sister to climb up
into barn rafters, holding the front seams of our shirts to make pockets for
collected eggs. Of cows, bulls with
horns that frightened me, and stinky pigs.
Of climbing up to the top of a corn silo to look out over the farm and
play in the pool of kernels. My little girl self relished in the wild freedom
of it, and got lost in experiences so real you could hold them in your
hand.
Lifetimes later, I sat in a barn in Midland, North
Carolina. I'd turned forty and decided
to do something brave, something that represented next steps.
So, I'd accepted an invitation from another set of sisters to
gather on an autumn night with a circle of writers. Emily Freeman (from Chatting at the Sky) and her
sister, Myquillyn Smith (from The Nesting Place), along with singer/
song-writer, Christa Wells, opened up the doors to a refurbished barn, and created a generous space for exploring the
creative within.
And there is just something about a barn.
Intuition tells us old, rustic barns have histories of
stories rich with family, humility, sunrises, sunsets, weathering hard times, clucking roosters, laboring
with your hands and play among the rafters.
This night, as a grown up version of the little farm loving girl, I sat in an old barn turned beautiful
with vintage furniture, eclectic decorating, soft glowing strung lights, roosters
ambling outside, glowing candles, crisp air through open windows, cats wandering
through, and heart-stirring songs sung.
I'd said yes to a barn. Yes to time spent with writers who
had inspired me. Yes to turning old memories into written
word. Yes to looking for beauty in the
ordinary. Yes to tending to the writer
in me.
They read poems, quoted authors and shared their
experiences, speaking of story, art, mistakes and bravery. And as
Saint Benedict suggested, I listened and attended with the ear of my
heart.
Instead of collecting eggs, I collected an awakening. I filled my journal with books to read, quotes,
thoughts and challenges, all of it renewing some of that wild, hope filled
freedom of childhood barn memories. Doubts
were silenced and vision stoked.
Back home, I'm certain to be reflecting again and again with
gratitude on a most magical autumn night gathered in a barn. And now I've sharpened some pencils and am
saying more yeses. Yes to the writer hiding under doubt and
excuses. Yes to allowing the Lord to use
my words in new ways. Yes to
vulnerability. Yes to the value of
creativity. Yes.
There's just something about a barn.
This is day two in a 31 day series: Tending to the Writer in Me. Check out the write 31 challenge.

8 comments:
I think you may have just put into words exactly what I have been trying to say for days since the barn. Beautiful words. Keep tending to the writer within, because she is beautiful.
I'm loving reading your Tending to Writer Within. Such beautiful words. I've stepped out and started writing as well… and I can't believe how scary it is. Thanks for taking the risk!!!
Looking forward to reading you words and following your #write31days series.
That was just lovely.
Oh I just love this. It was such a pleasure to meet you, and you captured the day so beautifully. Makes me wish we were all there again!
Your words paint such a soothing picture. Love you
Love it!
Mom
You have reminded me of my teenage years when my stepfather introduced me to horses, pastures, a well and a barn. Decades later I'm very thankful for the calluses still on my hands from drawing well water, the smells of cleaning out stalls and fresh hay, and the great joy of the solitude of a rickety old barn. Thanks for igniting the walk down memory lane.
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