Operation Fun: 'Nooga Style

 We approached the last few weeks like fun was our job.  Good times were prescribed, so it was road trip time.  Destination Chattanooga.   

Always up for operation fun, Eli conquered his pool fear in one swim session.  He was TERRIFIED of a pool in China, so we expected a strong reaction.  Though he most likely had never seen a pool before, he was fearlessly jumping in within minutes at the hotel pool.  Lessons time apparently.   

Ev's can't swim in a regular pool, so when we pulled out a suit for her, she knew something fun was going down. 

Wasn't long before she discovered the joy of fountaining with her sibs! 

 Watching Eli and Evie try new things is just a total delight. This little dude held back nothing! 

'Nooga really is so much fun for families. 

This beautiful carousal spun our little people around about 76 times.

 

 

As you can see, Evelyn was a fan.   

 We've sat on these statues for years, and thankfully, they still bring smiles and make littles look like littles. 

 Some good news?  You can buy Lay's in Tennessee too!  Major points for you, Chattanooga!

Kite flying was the weekend highlight for Sophia.  She and her daddy ran around in this field for hours. 

 And, when they weren't kite chasing, we discovered this sweetness.  Be still my momma's heart. 

Gotta wonder what this chat was about. 

A stroll across this bridge was the perfect way to spend the afternoon. 

When we all were sufficiently wet and tired, it was ice cream time.

 Nothing says great road trip like hanging out in an ice cream shop while wearing your wet bathing suit.  And, some of us spoon our ice cream more dramatically than others.  :)

 

Prescription filled.  

I Spy Some Kindness

 

 A box full of beauty arrived on our doorstep this week. 

Two quilts for two little people sewn with a big kind of love.  We are in awe of the stitches, the message, the kindness, the creativity, the generous and talented artist, and that small encounters don't always have to end without connection.   

The "I Spy" quilts from Janet (with The Bear Works) brought wide smiles from their new owners!

Six years ago, Nurse Janet walked into our hospital room.  She was first to swaddle and bath our  new baby girl.  Being the wise nurse that she was, she picked up on our new mommy and daddy fears, and said words just right for the moment. Ever responsible Mark was anxious to help our newborn Sophia survive, and needed a job to feel useful. So, she tossed him an aspirator and told him to clean out her tiny baby nostrils.  And he did so, approximately once an hour for 24 hours until Nurse Janet gently recommended that he stop.  :)  She answered a hundred questions and lingered in our room, bringing great wisdom. She accomplished all of her assigned duties, and then went beyond.  She turned an ordinarily temporary encounter into a friendship. 

 

We've kept in touch all these years, with her even contributing

a special square to Claire's 100 Good wishes quilt. 

She's touched each of our girls' lives, so it should have been no surprise when a package arrived with her name on it.  When these gorgeous quilts emerged, we all knew they were something special.  Always extra sensitive to needs, she thought the "I Spy" game would be perfect for our little English language learners. 

 

Comfy, warm, soft, and perfect for hiding under! 

 

Thank you, Janet, for lovingly going beyond, over and over again. 

They are most beautiful and we are most grateful.  They've already been snoozed under and played with. 

 

You've also reminded us to be more present in ordinary encounters, more willing to see the people we are interacting with, more aware that some encounters hold big gifts.   

Egg-celent Easter Memories

Like all things in 2014, Easter seemed more full this year. 

The weeks prior had been craziness, so the fuss was reduced, BUT traditions are traditions.

 

The littles hung out under stacks of well loved Easter books.  And our newest favorite, gifted to us by the extra special Reno family, The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes, had tears rolling down this momma's cheeks.  Jennifer found just the perfect book to encourage my heart at just this point in time. 

 Resurrection rolls are as important to us now as Easter baskets, so it was fun to watch the bigs teach the littles about our marshmallow Jesus' rolled in our cinnamon sins and left in crescent roll tombs.

 Every time, we are amazed that after a quick baking, our tombs are empty, and yummy too!

 Eli padded down the stairs on Easter AM dressed as a buzzing bumble bee, ready for candy!

  Evie quickly got the jist of the whole basket full of awesome.

 Such a fun morning of snuggling, egg hunting,

 and munching on highly decorative hard boiled eggs and chocolaty bunnies!

 All this at home family fun, combined with a crazy fun Easter festival at church, meant this team soaked up some Easter in a big way. 

Mother Knows Best

The whole way by herself.  It's big.  Really big.

A few backs back, when Evie's surgery ended up being more complicated than expected, she drove down to help us.  I argued with her and dad had to work, but a servant she is, so she came anyway.  Mother knows best. 

 

  We let it be a surprise to the girls and what a surprise it was!  Their squeals might just have taken some years off my hearing. How impressed are you by Claire's re-enacted surprised face?!

 

 I can act all big girl like, giving the appearance of having it all together.  But when mom arrives, I surrender to her gift of servanthood that fills a thousand needs. 

Our littles are lavished with love and her lap is never empty.  She cooks meals, folds laundry and comes up with cleaning projects that I'd never have the energy to even think of. 

 A bonus on one of her trips was getting to do some early birthday celebrating with her. 

 Sophia LOVES her some grandparent time, so when her Mamaw left from that stay, she travelled with her to stay for a week, with plans to meet us in Cincinnati. 

 

Unfortunately, that trip was cancelled, so Mom, Janie and Madeline brought her back down and helped out once again during Evie's hospital stay. 

 

Again, a wee bit of excitement from the small people.  :) 

 Eli and Evie got to meet their Aunt Janie and cousin Madeline. 

 I'm thinking Janie was smitten with our smiley one. 

Janie and Madeline were a huge blessing as well, loving on the three little people also needing attention while things were turned upside down. 

 

We are so very grateful for the love and help. 

 There is just something about being loved on by your people. 

 

"A mother's hug lasts long after she lets go."  ~unknown

10 Things Adoptive Parents of Medical Needs Kids Want You to Know (NHBO Post)

Our plane from China touched down just five months ago. With our two newly adopted kids, both with emotional and physical needs, we stepped out into new lives, all things from before suddenly family history. Life now is both harder and more blessing rich. Six hospital admissions, two surgeries, and a thousand tests and appointments later, our hearts are a mix of weight and awe. We’ve had to hold our daughter down over and over again through IVs, blood work, MRIs, x-rays, sedation and medical probes at a time when bonding should have been our only concern. The beauty is that we’ve seen God meet us exactly where we’ve needed Him over and over in ERs, specialists’ offices and on our bathroom floor with medical supplies spread round. On a trek that we weren’t qualified to traverse, we’ve been carried.

Many of our adoptive friends share a version of this story, and if allowed to speak for them, these are some things we’d like for you to know.

 

1. Sometimes, “How is she?” is a hard question to answer. We’ve probably answered it at least five times that day at church, school or gymnastics. Spoon up some grace if we hesitate and fumble through a response while passing each other casually in a hallway. We might just not have the energy for a coherent, summed up response for medical issues that are complex and heavy on our hearts. Still, know your remembrance was appreciated.

 

2. Sometimes it’s easier to share medical updates on FB, a blog, or in group email updates. We do want to express our hearts, and these help us do that when we can string our thoughts together to share at once with everyone we care about. Most likely, we can’t remember who we’ve updated and who we’ve missed. We want you to know the latest medical details, and we deeply cherish your walk alongside us.

 

3. All the time, we need you to PRAY. Nothing is more comforting to us than knowing that our girl has an army of prayer warriors fighting for her health and heart. We’ve felt the covering of your prayer during surgeries and procedures, and it has carrying power. We are always ready with an answer when you ask, “How can we pray?” And it matters much to us when you simply say, “We are praying.”

 

4. All of the time, your messages, texts and phone calls are of high value. When you email us prayers, we’ve probably read them two or three times. We likely have listened again to your phone messages while waiting for a doctor’s update. They are instruments of God’s provision of peace. Unfortunately, our to do and to go lists are long, and the thoughtful responses don’t happen. Don’t give up on us. 
We need you more than ever.

 

5. Sometimes we’d rather just hear about you. If we tend to constantly push the conversation back in your direction, go with it. Know we appreciate your effort to ask about us, but we still want to know how YOU and YOUR family are doing. Our path doesn’t eclipse yours. Have a struggle or need to vent? Tell us. We can handle it.

 

6. Sometimes we worry that we are burdening you with too much medical talk, and we find ourselves pretending to be more positive than we feel. We don’t share because we’ve already shared so much. Our medical journey doesn’t end after a surgery. There are always appointments, therapies, decisions, more surgeries and more days of at home care, and we wonder how many times we can ask for your prayer. We wonder how many times we can tell you that we are worried and weary.

 

7. Often we hear, “Let me know what I can do.” Though so grateful, most likely we are clueless about how to answer. We appreciate your offer and likely need help, but probably don’t have the energy to let you know how. It is a gift when someone asks specifically, “I would like to help you. Can I babysit your kids for an appointment this week?” Or, “I am planning to bring you dinner. Does Tuesday work?” While an incredible blessing, being served over a long period of time is also stretching. We see the care overall as extravagant provision from God, but on an individual basis, we feel like a burden.

 

Read the rest at No Hands But Ours. 

PICCs and "Bips"

2 Weeks
1 Nasty Infection

1 Cancelled 10 day trip to Cincinnati Children's Hospital

2 PICC Lines

2 Hospital Admissions

2 Late Night ER Trips
5 Dr's Appointments

10 Days of IV Meds
2 Medicine Deliveries

1 Home Health Nurse

4 Dressing Changes
4 X-rays
3 Babysitters From Kentucky
10 Meals Delivered
10-15 Bags of Lay's Potato "Bips"
6 Weary Family Members

On Monday, April 7, we prepped a zillion suitcases to be loaded into our Cincinnati Children's Hospital bound van.  This trip had been planned, prayed over and emotionally prepped for.  Our plan was to see 6 specialists over a period of ten days. 

Bladder surgery #2, just two weeks behind us, my mom had just left, taking Sophia with her, with a plan to meet up.  As we lined up those suitcases, the urologist called.  10 minutes later, we were making  cancellation phone calls, repacking bags and coordinating childcare.  More infection and US hospital admission #5 (&6).

 Before long, with suitcases still lining the hallway, we settled into room 243 for 10 days of IV antibiotics, well stocked with Lays "bips".  (Thanks, Aunt Jen!)

Visitors arrived on day 2!  No picture evidence, but sweet Aunt Janie came all the way from KY to help out with the kiddos and encourage the patient.  Also, Evie's amazing pal, Lucy, and her fabulous momma came by to bring smiles. 

 The second floor nurses are all pals now, so they loved our girl well, and are familiar with her stranger anxiety. 

The perk to being a frequent flyers is that you know how to bust your kid out of their room, and where to go to find some joy and beauty. 

We LOVE our local children's hospital and appreciate the endless ways that they make families comfy.  We can't say that we love their sleeper sofas or their oddly chefy meatloaf, but have massive gratitude to the nurses, techs, doctors, and child life specialists.  The love and care they show over and over again, day after day is immense.

 

On Tuesday, it was decided that Miss Evie needed to be out of the hospital and away from further infection risk.  In went a PICC line, and she rolled out of the hospital late Wednesday in a red wagon. 

Her siblings were extra happy to have her home, especially her biggest fan, Sophia, who had been in Kentucky waiting for us to drive up for the Cincy trip.   

 It felt a bit like we were finished, and we were ready for a long snooze, until the doorbell rang with a big box.

Then our WONDERFUL home health nurse arrived for PICC training.  We have logged it as 1.5 hours toward our nursing degree. 

Every eight hours, we gloved up, flushed the line and gave meds, crazy grateful for medical technology and the comfort of home.  Only concern, Evelyn's PICC arm was one giant, NASTY red rash.  Looking back, we never should have brought her home, because Thursday night, she scratched the PICC right out, so off to the ER we went. 

By 10:30, she was admitted and they brought us a meal in a brown paper sack.  First thing we found as we opened it?  Well, Lay's of course.  The patient prefers them classic flavored, but was quite pleased with her late night sour cream and onions.  She may or may not have scratched off the PICC with full understanding that hospital trips equal Lays potato "bips". 

The next morning, I left her sobbing and scared in a scary room full of gowned and masked nurses and a doctor who sedated her and inserted a new line.  With one look at her arm, the PICC nurses determined that she had had an allergic reaction to materials used in the other line. 

Eventually, we rolled out in another wagon, and made it back home to our people, happy to have it behind us. 

 

 Unfortunately, behind us didn't last long.  Her PICC dressing filled with blood so we text a picture to our nurse, who told us to head back to the ER.

Thankfully, they had Classic Lays this time, and after a dressing change and another X-ray, they arrived back home at 5AM. 

 

Our second week was filled with lots of appointments, meds every eight hours and the gift of more meals from friends. The dressing got bloody a few more times and we waffled with the nurse about another ER trip, but finally used parent intuition and stayed home.  The PICC process takes time and we had to keep her still, but it was an easy process.  She even had a dose in carpool two times, with some Lays as a distraction!

 

 Finally, on Friday after a couple tests, the PICC came out.  We'd gone to battle with bacteria and won!  Though she cries with ever nurse and doctor, Evelyn has been through so much and is just used to these procedures, which sadly helps.  We freely admit that this two weeks was particularly challenging, but God met us EVERY day. It was exhausting, but all doable. The hardest part was seeing our girl deal with poking and prodding over and over again.  We looked into her face as she sobbed and held her down far too many times.    Thankfully, our girl is the toughest person we know and has now moved on to normal two year old fun with crayons, Elmo and bubbles!

Giant thanks to mom, Janie, Madeline, Aunt Jen, Angela and lots of friends for all kinds of care. 

Ebenezers

These are my preferred mugs.  They are a momma's mugs, filled daily with steamy, green tea.  They sit next to morning journals and Bible studies.  During naptime, they are a pick-momma up reward.  Sometimes, they sit barely warm on the homeschooling table among a mess of  workbooks, crayons, and ABC puzzles.  Sometimes, I fill them with cocoa and over the top marshmallows.  Frequently, they are discovered left in the microwave, half full, now day old, cold.  These mugs are personal to me, comforting and celebratory.

 

Each mug represents a time in my life when adoption has rubbed against my heart.  Each mug is a token from a Created for Care conference attended.  Each mug an Ebenezer, a reminder of the Lord's help in the year prior. 

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen.

He named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.” 1 Samuel 7:12 (NIV)

While retreating in March, a friend and I sat by the water, catching up on what the Lord had done in our families, our conversation mixed with giggles and the weight of the previous year.  And oh how He has helped me, and her, and every other kindred spirit, C4C momma.  She suggested that we needed reminders, Ebenezers, so that we wouldn't forget.  We laughed in awe at the towering Ebenezer that would be built if each of the 450 attendees added stones of remembrance for the miracles, provision, lavish care, and help God had given them.  He's taken us all so far. 

In 2011, my red mug was celebratory.  After sweating out a six year wait, we were newly home with Claire from China (and had a concurrent adoption in process). We were battle scarred, but the hard journey TO was behind us.  The journey WITH just begun.  My rawness was the sweetness of holding in my arms evidence of the perfection of God's timing.  She was our little, almond eyed answer to long-term prayer. 

When handed 2012's green mug, we still waited on adoption #2, but were filled with uncertainty.    We were begging for discernment about a change of course, though we'd already spent years imagining the face of our child, jumping paperwork hurdles, & longing for our little person.  We knew God would come through, but confusion was thick.   

2013 brought a blue mug.  We'd made an emotional decision to close one process, and start again with China.  Paperwork complete, it would be a month before the faces of our next two loves would appear on our computer screen.  We hoped God might give us an easy process pass, maybe that our dues had been paid, but He had plans again to drive us to our knees, ultimately off paperwork and adoption and onto Him. 

 

Then came the 2014 mug.  The fat, round pink one from this year so represents my heart.  It's wider open than ever before, and feels like it holds more, full in a new way.  For us, this year, it was adopting Eli and Evie from China in November after a long, obstacle filled paperwork battle and country change.  I was full of sweet gratitude from long awaited prayers answered. I was raw from surgeries behind and surgeries ahead, learning to fight for a little one with medical needs.  Weighted by wondering if Eli will find His voice, and if this momma can love well the four lives entrusted to us. 

 These mugs also represent the milestones of friends.   They've walked  me through my adoptions, while they walked through their own.  Together, we celebrated paperwork milestones, court dates and airport arrivals.  We showed up with tissues and cupcakes when red tape reared its ugly head, directions changed and waits lingered on. 

They are...

sure of adoption, but unsure of where that child waits,

 

 just home from Ghana with two older children,

praying about foster care,

loving a daughter in a closed country,

parenting older adoptees, seeking to make sense of hard stories,

using sign language to help their child communicate,

 awed by fundraising miracles,

shell shocked from hospital stays and surgeries,

dealing with attachment issues,

in the thick of the wait, wondering and longing. 

 

All of them experienced obstacles, doubts and long waits.  Their families large and small, first adoption or third.   Their child takes daily HIV medication or rides in a wheelchair.  Each has a story to tell of how far the Lord has brought them, and how intentionally He has helped.   Each has a cabinet filled with C4C mugs logo-ed with a momma and baby bird. 

All seems proof that God helps.  No matter the obstacle, help came.  Clearly, His heart beats for orphans.  I'm one of the older adoptive mommas now at the retreats, and I've seen Him break down barriers in adoption processes.  Seen Him move in the hearts of churches rallying around orphan care.  Seen miraculous love stories on orphanage mission trips in the poorest of countries. 

 

As I sip from my mug now, I'm reminded that God helps.  This world is messy, and orphans everywhere face the unimaginable.  But by His great grace, He uses us as vessels to make a difference for a few.  And when comfort zones are stepped beyond, we are blessed in unfathomable ways, made different by the little people we love.  We're used up, stretched out and hearts reshaped, all of which requires settling into the simple belief that God helps.   Our job simply is to be love. 

Not sure what this year will bring, but whatever comes, I'll remember that,

"Thus far the Lord has helped".

I want to show up at Created for Care 2015 used up.  A momma loving big.  An advocate fighting for justice.  A servant loving the fatherless.  A prayer warrior  interceding for orphan care and orphan prevention ministries.  A friend bringing tissues and cupcakes.  A child of God who remembers, celebrates, and tells the stories of what He has done. 

Thank you, C4C planning team, for the little row of Ebenezers lined up in my cabinet.