May I have your attention, please? (Deconstruction)

Honesty time. 

Ugly fact uno:  I like attention.

Ugly fact dos:  My attention is focused in some wrong places. 

 

 

 My heart has shown itself to not be where I'd like it to be,

so some soul searching is in order.  God has been deconstructing me, and as hard as it is, I'm game.  One of His major construction zones is the area of attention. 

 

I haven't written journal like blog posts in some time.  I'm wrestling over authenticity vs. over-sharing.  I'm wrestling with my motives. 

Posts like this and this get me thinking. 

 

  And then there is Facebook. 
Love it,  Hate it. 

 

Love the connection with cousins, ministries, long lost pals and adoption peeps, and double love social media's impact for helping the hurting.  It can raise money, encourage, bring awareness, and stir hearts. 

Hate my addiction to it, and thinking hard about the attention that it brings.  If I scroll through statuses 2-3 times per day, I am giving FB at least 30 minutes of my day.  210 minutes of my week, and the rest of the math makes me want to hide my head in shame.  My desire to stay connected, and dare I say to get a little attention, ain't pretty. 
Writing status's in my head isn't my aim in this life. 

The desire to not miss ANYTHING is uncool. 

 

 

Messy thoughts, eh?  Just needing a social media heart check. 

So, I am on a Christmas FB fast.  How funny...and telling...that I have had to think this silly thing through. 

 

What I know is that I often claim to not have enough time to flip open my Bible or a book.  I know that I have missed moments with my girls. 

Darn you, FB.    You've distracted me away from my life's calling. 

 

Hoping to use my regained 210+ minutes this week to do some reading, focus my heart on Advent, and give full attention to two really cool little people and a hubs who needs me. 

 

Deconstruction.  Bring it on. 

Attention.  Going to try to seek less and give more.