The Story

In the late evening on February 20, 2010, this referral photo arrived in our inbox.  She is Liu Wu Sha, living in the Children's Welfare Institute of Chengdu City in China.  My heart knew she was to be ours. 

I can't pinpoint when the desire to adopt entered my heart.  I do recall telling my parents as a young girl that I would adopt a little Asian girl.  Despite having no exposure to adoption, I've always just known.

A few years later, when I entered college and met Mark, I shared my heart for adoption.   Being the man that he is, he immediately made that part of his life plan as well.  As we dated, all the while talking about our adopted Asian daughter. 

In February of 2006, over dinner as a married couple of almost ten years, I looked at Mark and asked, "Are we really going to adopt?" He answered with a simple, "Yes."  And so, we became waiting parents.  As we poured over adoption agency catalogs and attended informational sessions, our hearts opened for our daughter.  Our "paper pregnancy" had begun. 

We decided on an agency and were formally approved in May of 2006.  With great anticipation and excitement, we began "the chase".  We believed that we would travel to China in 2007.  The road before us appeared short and easy.  Little did we know that we were entering a time of deep vulnerability.  A stretching would soon start to take place.

We ordered birth & marriage certificates, got medical exams, were finger-printed, had background checks, had home study appointments, and on and on.

We took dossier photos to submit with our documents.  (This one includes Sharon and Scott, who we will travel with.  We did not know them at the time, but think the fact that they were in our dossier photos is another "red thread connection").

The road ended up being long and bumpy.  We have walked by faith alone.  I am a fiercely optimistic person, but must admit that nothing in this process has been easy.  From the paperwork stage, we have had to fight for our girl.  Everyone before us waited 3-8 weeks for USCIS approval.  We waited 5+ months.  It was at that time that the feeling of this being completely out of our control began. 

On October 27, 2006, after a very challenging paperwork process, we received word that we were "logged in" in China.   We were in line to adopt a non-special needs girl that we would name Claire. 

Thanks to Dan and Susan, we surrounded ourselves with adoptive families at monthly "First Friday" gatherings.  Our lives would never be the same.   It was at those meetings that we met many adoptive friends, including Jay and Angela, Pete and Julie and Tymm and Laura.  We also met Donna, who would be a major red thread in the process. 

We were excited and expectant.  Each month we blogged about being another month closer to Claire.  We read stacks of books about adoption and felt more and more connected to our daughter. 

Then, the months turned into years and the wait grew staggeringly long. Waiting got hard and "walking by faith" had new meaning.   Tears were shed, and we became more and more frustrated with bureaucratic red tape.  It was hard to understand why thousands and thousands of children wait in orphanages while we sat at home with willing  hearts and a home to share. 

It took us some time to realize that if God was withholding her from us, then it had to be for the greater good.  It was by walking this journey that we came to understand how truly feeble or faith was.  We had been living as if we were entitled and in control.  God intended to do a good work in us, weaning us from dependence on anything other than Him.

"Adoption, even when it heart-wrenching, can be a precious part of our pilgrimage towards God." ~Kristin S. Wong

Luckily, we have had countless blessings along the way. Tears have fallen onto our keyboards as we watched friends blogging through their adoption trips to China, Ethiopia and Colorado. We have celebrated children coming home, and mourned for orphans who never will.  Adoption has altered the course of our lives.  This journey is no longer about our family adopting a child. We are changed, and for that we are grateful.

We are not the same people who signed our adoption application in 2006.  The "slow boat to China"  was actually a purposeful journey.  Our closed door was a gift; a painful experience that was just what we needed.  God showed us our deep need for Him, while also opening our eyes to work that He was calling us to. 

Zimbabwe, April 2010

 Watoto Orphanage, Uganda August 2010

In May of 2009, we submited a medical checklist, opening us to the referral of a special needs child.  Again, we saw only obstacles, as even the special needs wait loomed long.  That same month, Claire entered her orphanage with a cleft palate. 

Throughout the year in 2009, we felt that we were supposed to also adopt from Ethiopia.  We were fearful though, so we kept trying to put those feelings aside as we waited for China.  On February 19, 2009, we finally gave in.  We surrendered control of BOTH processes, and submitted an application to adopt from Ethiopia.   We let go all questions of finances, being a multi-racial family and having a family timeline. 

On February 20th, the day after the Ethiopia application, we received a VERY, VERY unexpected referral.  We see this as a gift for being obedient, and for FINALLY surrendering all control. 

A week earlier, our orphan advocate friend, Donna, contacted us, urging us to consider contacting an adoption agent named Xiaoqing out of CA.   We were skeptical and didn't believe anything would come of it.  Luckily, we felt a prompting to make the call.  THREE days later, we saw Claire's face. 

The process since then has been filled with more bumps and more trails.  We have waited much longer than most for LOA and TA.  We have fought for our daughter every step of the way. 

Since May of 2009, Claire has waited for us in her orphanage.  She has already had her own challenging journey.  She has come through trauma and survived.  Finally, tomorrow, we head to China.  Our journeys will merge, and we'll keep fighting together.

"I am thankful for the trails and tears of adoption and for tumult that may still come.  They reveal my poverty of faith, leading me limping into the arms of my Heavenly Father.  God gives special treasures in times of weakness and pain."  ~Kristin S Wong