Berry Memories

 So, medical stuff hit first and then the back to school tsunami pulled us under for a bit,  and we are just starting to gasp for air. 

 

Summer's end seemed to take us by surprise this year.  So, I am reflecting, and wishing just a bit that we could go back and snag some of the freedoms of the season.  . 

 

 The sweetness of hide and seek and picnicking under the trees calls back to me with its memory. 

 Two new pickers joined the tradition this year.  We can't claim that they are effective at it. 

One tended to drop her bucket,

 and the other carried a bucket, yet dropped picked berries into his cheeks instead. 

Thankfully, the patch veterans carried us, knowing that sweet baking of treats was to follow if buckets were full. 

 One of us might have become a little obsessive,  picking just...one...more again and again,

which gave us the happy ending of several batches of baked berry bar goodness. 

Kir-plink, kir-plank, kir-plunk

Hemmed In

The feeling of peace we had during Evie's hospital stay can not be explained.  It was hard for our girl.  It was a flashing sign that yet more medical intervention is needed. 

It was exhausting.  It was emotion loaded. 

Yet somehow, I found myself telling friends that we felt hemmed in. 

 

Psalm 139:5 You hem me in-behind and before;

You have laid your hand upon me.

 

Yes, the hospital was amazing, but the hemming was deeper than that. 

It was arriving at the Ronald McDonald House and finding a care package decorated with flowers waiting for us. 

 It was little Chinese-American, Ohio native friends nourishing us with their kindnesses 

and comforting us with their songs.   

 It was art drawn by the brothers of another special little patient friend. 

It was mac n' cheese (served up by RMH volunteers) with a pig-tailed little buddy who fights a  similar battle.

 It was connection and laughs over egg rolls and pad thai, served up on a rolling tray table between doctor rounds. 

 It was stories told by THREE mommas who had Evelyn's file before us and love her still.

A reminder of God's perfect sovereignty. 

 It was "Cookie Wednesday" and too much to say in too short a time with mommas in the Dr. Levitt fan club  (and a few bonus China mommas). 

(I'm thinking I was taking a little snooze behind the eyelids in this one.)

 

 And when you feel the hemming in, love wins over anxiousness, fear and a hundred unknowns. 

 

Deepest thank you Jennifer, Olivia, Jill, Erin, Erin, Jane,  Amy, and Jennifer. 

Your encouragement was game changing. 

 



Hope Rising: A Review

Walking with Jesus doesn't diminish the soul's hunger, it increases it a thousand-fold.  As you are drawn into His desires, you find profound joy and purpose, but you also encounter an unbearable, compulsive force.  Jesus feels what the poor feel.  He has solidarity with their suffering.  If we dare to abide in Him, then the intensity of His love for the poor will infuse our own souls. 
And it will cost us. 

 

 

 

I've served the poor in Haiti, Mexico, Guatemala, and Zimbabwe and it has cost me. 

 

Fresh off the plane from a college mission trip to Juarez, Mexico, tears rolled down my checks as we drove through our middle class suburban neighborhood.  My eyes had seen new things, my heart stretched out, and I was newly uncomfortable in my former world.  I'd spent the week helping build a tiny home about the size of my back porch.  As we presented the new shelter, located amongst hundreds of shacks, the family shed tears of gratitude, thanking not me, but the Lord for His provision.  I didn't feel pride in serving.  I felt embarrassed and disgusted with myself for living in a comfy, oblivious bubble for the first 19 years of my life.   I'd met street kids with no shoes and witnessed families living in shacks made from rolls of cardboard.  I've been wrestling with that same discomfort since that week that changed my worldview all those years ago. 

 

Now, I have many more mission trips under my belt and I've seen poverty from Haiti to China.  And it costs me.  God has opened my eyes to the lost and hurting and I can no longer live my life unaffected.  I wrestle with purchases, ache for the orphaned and often feel a "WAKE UP" scream rising in me if I spend much time with people who's conversations never go beyond ourselves.

 

I've struggled with being judgmental of those who have not seen. I find myself driven to do more and more, trying to learn to balance God's call to serve with my own plans.  I have struggled over selling my life to move to the mission field and being content with my messy beautiful here and now.   

 

As much as I am passionate about serving, I have also learned to be careful about how it is done.  I've witnessed many well intentioned servants hurting those they so desire to help.  I myself have been on mission trips when I've wondered if I was a poverty tourist hungry for the good feeling service offers or a humble help believing in the integrity and ability of those whose foreign ground I walked on.  I've seen Americans start ministries with their American mindsets, helping some, but deeply harming many more.   Ministering to the poor is hard, long-term work.  Feeling jaded, I've been wrestling with my role, knowing what I know, having seen what I've seen.   

 

Then, along came Scott Todd's Hope Rising with its hopeful look at "How Christians Can End Extreme Poverty in This Generation".   This book challenges me to believe again.  To believe that ending poverty IS possible and that I as stay-at-home mom have a role to play in it.  To believe that though there is much to be done, that so much positive change has already occurred in eliminating the causes and effects of poverty, such as eradicating disease and ensuring clean water in remote areas of the world.  This book re-ignites my desire to serve, and challenges me to do it well. 

 

Scott Todd works with Compassion International, an aid and child sponsorship non profit serving the world's poor.  This book is his vision on how to eliminate poverty by 2035.  He explores the role of government, businesses, churches and individuals.  Pointing out our low expectations for what can be done to end poverty, he provides statistics on positive changes over the past 20-50 years as technology and medicines have improved and organizations have learned how best to meet needs.

 

Dissecting scripture on poverty, Todd charges us with believing that we can do what the Lord has clearly called us to do. It is an idealistic, but practical vision for eliminating poverty in the next generation.  This book is a short, yet challenging read.  Somehow both heavy and light, it must be read again.  With the end in mind, and my hope renewed, it is one I'll reread and pray over as I try to discern how my family might play a role in serving the world's poor. 

 

Prepare your minds with action. 

1 Peter 1:13

 

* I was provided with a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.*

Tiny But Mighty Medical Update





Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

1 Corinthians 13

 

This journey with Evelyn has been a marathon of endurance. It has challenged how far our faith will go, and how much our hope will endure.   We love our girl with all that we are though, and will do whatever it takes to make her well. 

 

Since before her adoption, we knew that Evie would need to be seen by out of state specialists.  In April, we planned a trip to Cincinnati Children's Hospital, but Evie had other plans.  Though we rescheduled for July, we eventually decided that we wanted her to be seen by the top pediatric colorectal surgeon in the world, Dr. Levitt, who had moved to Nationwide Hospital in Columbus, OH. 

 

So, we packed our bags, dropped the kids with their grandparents and checked in at the Ronald McDonald House for a week of outpatient testing and consultation.  When our first two tests ended by 10AM on a Friday, we made a last minute decision to drive four hours back to KY to be with family for the weekend. 

 

Unfortunately, by late night Saturday, Evie woke with vomiting and a 104 degree fever, so we were off to the ER.  The small town ER got her fever down and did a culture to determine that she indeed had the kidney infection that we suspected.  They treated her fever and nausea and planned to send her by ambulance to Louisville.  Meanwhile, knowing that she was to have a procedure under anesthesia that Monday morning, we emailed Dr. Levitt just as a heads up.  Though he was travelling out of state, and not a urologist, he emailed us ALL NIGHT, urging us to get her back to Columbus. 

 

Early Sunday morning, we convinced the local ER doctor to let us sign a waiver going against his suggestion to get her to the nearest children's hospital.  After he named every hospital in between Bardstown, KY and Columbus, we headed out in the pouring rain for our four drive back to Nationwide. 

 

With adrenaline pumping and prayers flying, we cruised quickly up the highway until we hit gridlock traffic outside Cincinnati.  Undeterred, and highly trained in defensive driving, Evie's mission minded daddy inched in front of three lanes of traffic, drove the wrong way up the median on I75 and proceeded up an exit ramp, successfully keeping us moving north toward the medical mecca for kids with Evie's needs.

Thanks to Dr. Levitt, she had a direct admission and was being treated by mid-morning. 

(Guess I bragged too early about no overnight hospital stays in June and July!)  We were immediately impressed by her medical team, as all of her testing was rearranged with an effort to not extend our stay, though focusing on the kidney infection. 

 

That first day and night she continued to be sick with spiking temperatures.  On Sunday night, a team rushed in in the middle of the night for an x-ray and blood culture, but thankfully the infection had not spread.   

Weary from two scary nights, we spent the next few days snoozing and letting meds work.    Soon though, it was time for all the yucky tests, each a physical and emotional challenge for all of us. A couple times a day, transport came to stroll Evie through the hallways for her renal ultrasound, X-rays, VCUG, cystoscopy, barium enema, and urodynamics study. 

 

Our girl is so very brave and so incredibly strong.  Though she would sob and rub her feet together in pain, she never resisted.  Mark and I just held her hands, whispered in her ear and prayed.  Thankful for incredibly gentle doctors and nurses, we watched computer screens, trying to understand why red lines that weren't flat would mean more surgery and more treatment.   

As yucky as each test was, she rolled out from under anesthesia looking like a resting angel, her smile soon returning. 

Don't ya know that hospital stays aren't all bad? 

 The silver lining is that they always result in lots of comfort "bip" consumption. 

(Thanks to Jill for the giant bag of happiness!) 

  And sometimes some sneaky "bip" stealing.   

 

We did have some fun making hallway rounds searching for people to say hi to, playing in the playroom and enjoying  all the toys that kept arriving at the hospital and Ronald McDonald House. 

Well worth each of the 600 miles from home, Nationwide Children's Hospital is an amazing, comprehensive clinic for kids with issues like our girl's.   Urology, nephrology, colorectal, neurology, and other fields are not discussed in isolation.  Every specialist that we saw discussed ALL of Evie, past, present and future.   Because she was admitted, we were blessed with lots of time with the surgeons.  They sat on our couch discussing options and drawing explanatory diagrams.  When Dr. Levitt would ask for a test time to be altered, someone from his team would scramble to make it happen. 

 

On our last day, we had an early morning test scheduled, then open time before our whole team clinic appointment.  When we arrived that AM, we passed Dr. Levitt in the coffee shop and he asked where we were headed.  Later, while in the middle of our testing, we got a message saying that we could come over when finished for our clinic visit.    Four surgeons with full waiting rooms changed their schedule so we wouldn't have time between appointments.   

 

 The hospital is new and well designed to comfort and care for families.  Even the food was good!  So impressed!

 

As hard as this week was, over and over again, we got little blessings and signs that God had gone before us once again doing immeasurably more than we could have asked for.   Though Evie was unexpectedly sick and we heard hard things, we still left feeling carried and blessed. And Evelyn?  She just smiled and took it all in, scoping out opportunities to play. 

 So what's next for our tiny but mighty?

 

We are caring for Evelyn a bit more carefully each day, and have added new meds for her bladder.  She was also given two new antibiotics to address some dangerous and highly resistant bacteria that have colonized within her little body.  If her fever goes up to 100.5, we'll be heading to the doctor.  The hope is that infections will be eliminated, so we can put major urology surgery off a few more years.  Though she's mighty, she's still tiny.   

 

She is scheduled for major colorectal surgery back at Nationwide in early November.  They'll be moving things around, improving muscles and removing a fistula.  If kidney infections continue, she'll also have bladder surgery at that same time. 

  

 Prayer requests: 

~That antibiotics will effectively treat bacteria and prevent infection. 

~Discernment as we discuss combining urology and colorectal surgeries.

~That the medications that she's on will be effective, but eliminated if not absolutely necessary. 

~For hope, gratitude and faith to endure as we navigate this medical marathon. 

~For Evie's strength and little heart. 

~That we as a family will have lots of joy and fun on the in-between days, and that we'll lean in to what the Lord is teaching.

Thank you so very much, Team Evie.  We are in awe of the number of people who STILL continue to pray specifically for our girl.  Your enduring dedication and support are the hands and feet of the Lord's abundant love and provision.  We love each of you tremendously. 

Big fat gratitude to Dr. Levitt, Dr. Wood, Dr. McCleod, and a host of AMAZING nurses.

Thanks also to my parents for caring for our kids so we could both be present in Columbus.  Grateful. 

Dear Teacher(s),

Twas' the night before school's start and the new crayons and sharpened pencils make this momma reflective.  A corner is turning, and a year of possibility before us. 

I'll admit that class sizes, standardized testing and rubber playgrounds surrounded by high fences make my eye twitch, but our excited daughter is headed to public school this year.  Considering our year last year and the year ahead, she needs it.  We've prayed it over, weighed the pros and cons, and two will be learning homeschool style and one headed into the school system.  Tonight, the words for her teacher, and all the teachers, are spilling....

 

Dear Teacher,

We're all in.  Ready to partner up and step bravely toward agendas and homework assignments.

You're on the front lines.  You sit in meetings hearing about standards, time-lines, testing, and the latest teaching techniques, but then you also sit on a rug surrounded by a class of expectant small people who don't care much about any of those things.

You are going to be busy, torn and stretched.  I promise to help.  I'll read your newsletter and send in more Clorox wipes when you need them.  I'll smile at you at Open House, and come in to help when I can.  If I can cut, staple or copy to free you up to focus on planning, let's make it happen.   A few apples and some chocolate might land on your desk as well.    

I must tell you though that my beginning of the year plans might get sidetracked  occasionally by our at home craziness.  This family is a mix of prepared and forgetful.  We promise to do our best, but we'll need grace here and there. 

I have no expectation of perfection on your end either, just big heart for the position you are in.  We trust that our daughter's name landed on your roll for a reason.  She has much to learn from you between August and May. 

We want her to master math facts, spell correctly, find Georgia on a map, identify facts in a paragraph, fall in love with characters in great books and compose complete sentences. 

We hope she's captivated by science held in her hands and captured by history's stories.  

The funny thing?  We really don't care too much about getting her to read three levels above grade level or that she gets 100% on math tests.  We hope she's prepared for those pesky standardized tests, but her rank compared to her age group really doesn't matter much to us. 

As much as we'll be intentional and present, we are not helicopter parents.  We believe in consequences.  If she fusses over completing an assignment or forgets to pack a folder, we might step back and let her experience the ramifications.   She's a great kid, but is as flawed as her parents.  Don't be afraid to give her feedback or tell us her weaknesses. 

 
Mostly?  We care about her heart. 

We want her to obey because its right, not because there is a plastic treasure in a prize box. 

We want her to be honest when she messes up, and not hesitate to apologize. 

We want her to clean up to help you, not because you had to ask.   

We want her to befriend the new kid and the ignored, and share her snack with the kid who forgot his.

We want her to stand in front of the class and be who she is made to be, unafraid to be silly, creative or serious.

We hope she's brave and tries new, scary things. 

We hope there's time for messy art, beautiful music and kickball. 

We want her to be six, exchanging rainbow loom bracelets with other little girls, giggling at class jokes and adding smiley faces to her drawn suns.    

When other little girls leave her out or make comments about her outfit, we want her to be unshaken and confident in who she is and Who made her

We want her to love putting pencil to paper, not inhibited by the need to be perfect. 

We want her to get lost in worlds found between the pages of well written books, kindled not just by obligation to fill lines on a reading log or score AR points.

When she hears things we'd rather she not hear yet, we hope she doesn't waver in her understanding of right and wrong. 

And yes, more than anything, we pray that she'll love the Lord with all her heart, soul and mind. 

We are going to be praying at home for both of you.  That we can promise.  Donning her charm covered pink backpack, she's taking a step away from us tomorrow, and taking a step toward you.  As much as we'd like to keep time from passing, it is with joy that we watch her walk through new doors, changing and growing. 

So, we signed all the papers and purchased the glue sticks.    Her backpack is by the door and her lunch chilling in the fridge, hopeful for a great year.

 

Sincerely,
Her Parents

PS:  I tend to run late.  Sorry in advance.  Oh, and she might miss a few days, we've got a thing for road trips. 

A Summer's Day

Childhood in summer. Unique for each kid, but much the same. It’s giggles, all day PJs, Crocs and popsicles. Children meeting, then heading out into the sunshine hand in hand as easy friends. The sun offers a special freedom.

One of our recent summer days had notable stats: 1 water park, 4 mommas, 18 kids, 7 children adopted from China, a long list of medical needs represented, 12 snack breaks, and 6 hours drenched in June sunshine.

4 of these kids, home less than a year from China, had medical needs that might have kept them home that day.

One sat in her stroller with a cast from her waist down to her toes helping heal her hip dysplasia, her momma visiting in between cardiology and orthopedic specialist appointments. She shared Teddy Grahams with friends who peered into her stroller and sometimes splashed her fingers in the water. Sunshine on her skin, she was a child in summer.

Another laughed and played with waterproof cochlear implants attached to each ear. Her wide smile told us that the thousands of dollars of life altering equipment just beginning to help her hear and understand sounds were not on her mind that day. The melody of water splashing and kids squealing as they swooshed down slides were sweet new sounds. She was a child in summer.

Another little person is prone to kidney infection, and her exposed bladder kept her from walking beyond knee deep in the water. Un-phased by her limitations, she spent the day sloshing in a bubbling fountain. Drippy ice cream in hand, she was a child in summer.

Finally, the oldest, a young teen with spina bifida, was rolled into the park in her wheelchair by her mother. Despite her challenges, a plastic wheelchair and a life vest enabled her to spend the day plunged happily in the pool. Feeling cool water on her legs, she was a teenager in summer.

Their stories bring easy tears, with limits and challenges shaping their pasts. Their orphanage years not just institutional and without parents, but surgery filled and soundless. Their battles far from over, the reasons to keep them away from a water park were many. On the other hand, the reasons TO linger were many as well. 

God performed countless miracles to change the course of their lives. And seeing them all together reminded us that we were in the presence of His sacred work, His love stories splashing around in swimsuits.

Read the rest of this post over at No Hands But Ours. 

Team Evie Update

"As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen." 

~Winnie the Pooh

 

The ride with tiny, but mighty Evelyn continues.  We are so humbled by, and grateful to, so many who have prayed for her, inquired about her, loved on her, encouraged us and helped in a hundred ways.  Forgive us for not doing a CaringBridge style update lately.  We appreciate your support so deeply and want you to know when to pray and when to celebrate! 

 

Evie had spine surgery in late May, and was so strong.  She recovered beautifully and clearly feels much better.  Thankfully, she is walking more easily and no longer has spasms of pain.  We know that that surgery contributed significantly to her overall well being.  Big neurosurgery celebration!

 

We are also happy to report that there have been no overnight hospital stays in June or July!   We have been able to have many, much needed days of summer fun.  (No big beach vacay yet, but we're dreaming one up for sometime soon.)  Our whole family has been able to rest and play, and we are so very grateful. 

 

The best news?  Evie's latest miracle is that our nephrologist reports that her one damaged kidney with reflux is currently functioning "mostly normally" and only suggested a new medicine and continued blood work!   Her bladder surgeries/procedures are saving her kidney.  Kidney party, friends, kidney party!  The unexpected news was a gift to our weary ears. 

 

We would love your continued prayers as Evie's journey is far from over.  Kidney infections remain our main concern, as it is so desperately important to protect that miracle kidney.  Our urologist is concerned and mentioned a potential "serious talk" about major bladder reconstruction.  This was in our girl's future, but years down the road. 

 

What's next for Evelyn is a week of consultations and testing with several specialists at Nationwide Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. There will be no surgeries on this trip, just lots of time with a team of doctors who specialize in kids like Evie.   Its time for the best of the best of surgeons to see our girl, so we are making the trek mainly for one particular surgeon.  Thanks to grandparents watching three kiddos and a Ronald McDonald House saving a room for us, we have big hopes for this trip. 

 

   We'd love your prayers for...

~safe travels

~Evie's heart and anxiety with more testing and more appointments

~wisdom, discernment and heart of surgical specialists

~gentleness of medical staff anytime they interact with Evelyn

~no more kidney infections

~for Mark and I to have endurance in our faith, hope, emotions and attitudes as we continue navigating this journey

~continued medical miracles

Creative Living Space for Birds

 4 bottles of paint, 4 $1.00 houses , 4 creative littles always game for an art project and a rare evening with no plans. 

 The result?  Colorful housing for four lucky birds. 

Celebrating the Red, White and Blue

 

Readoption

Elijah and Evelyn became more officially official. 

The red tape is over, state certificates are on the way, and the state finally got all caught up with our hearts.